WEIRD_1:
I'm not gay, Bob.. Just because I like to sleep with men that don't make me gay
Snard:
The pot was unable to call the kettle black, because it was in fact brass colored.
Matteus:
the truth behind solar eclipses
144b:
Check it out, he's playing a Therimin!
Matteus:
drink {brown derby pilsner} in peace, my children
144b:
And each of you will be issued this ID badge. And it will be this size. Wear at all times, even at bedtime.
UnReality:
"Uh oh. It's a Brazilian soccer team--and they look hungry!"
gleeb:
The architecture world was rocked today as Frank Gehry was caught with pictures of an underaged building....
UnReality:
"What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculties.... In action, how like an angel. In apprehension, how like a God. Bud here, though, is a bit of dickweed."
GersonK:
Ed's entire act consisted of finding haikus in the Zagat's guide
gleeb:
We all knew he wouldn't survive the poetry slam. His material consisted of reading from a 1983 Zagat guide to Dallas/Fort Worth.
GersonK:
Ed's entire act consisted of finding haikus in the Zagat's guide
rickubis:
This is side one of a two-sided tape. The other side is "RCA Victoria".
144b:
And we'll be able to have telemarketers jam your phone 24hours a day with our new technology.
amycamus:
.oO(Damn! I coulda swore I hid that copy of Juggs in between 'Moby Dick' and 'Billy Budd'!...)Oo.
psychomorph:
David Koresh *IS* Paul Revere in "Hey Hey It's Paul Revere and the Monkees!"
Racerex:
Few night students ever made it out of the Miskatonic University library alive......
Racerex:
"Revolution .... Schmevolution .... I never drank tea, anyway."
UnReality:
"Whoa! The code was one if by land and TWO if by sea? Oh crap."
Racerex:
"Wow, this would be neat to drink laudanum out of!!"
UnReality:
"Previously on George Washington, Mad Scientist..."
UpSky2:
" 'A Comparative Study of the Quantitative Differences Between the Career Discoveries of Joseph Henry and William Harvey' - I sure hope it's good enough a title to disguise my stupidity!"
144b:
It's not quite ham or beef. It's really nice on a cracker, though.
YibbleGuy:
"And, at halftime, the score is ...."
TheDiva:
Never are enough hours in the day, are there?
gleeb:
Never make an appointment with Wonka for a quarter to.
GlitterRock:
*tick... ... tick... ... tick... ... tick... *
RodRocket:
"Ve haff vays uff making you TOCK!!!"
Moatas:
The rest of the time we're lying to you
GersonK:
Worst Escher. Ehver.
evetsggod:
the coast guard did a sequel to this. it's called "re-introduction to haiti"
FryGirl:
Reminds me of the time I called in sick and went to the Giants game and wound up on the Jumbotron for 30 seconds.
FryGirl:
Shit! There I am again!!!!!
gleeb:
Now, FryGirl makes sure she's disguised as Nobel-prize-winning biologist Barbara McClintock before going to the game...
MrfnordTim:
o/` On the woad again. Just can't wait to get on the woad again! o/`
Coakley:
"You're in luck, Charlie. We've arrived just in time for rehersals of our 'Logan's Run' production."
GlitterRock:
I don't remember this scene from THX-1138.
AlanPartridge:
Not now kid, I'm washing Richard Pryor's Pants.
gleeb:
Cheer up, Charlie...
Oh, wait, wrong scene.
gleeb:
...author of "Shacking-Up for Post-Moderns"
GersonK:
Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole. This guy, on the other hand...
gleeb:
Hand soap...unguents...deodorizers...man, I got the worst concession at the ball park!
Generik:
Discontinue use if any of the following occur: sweating, itching, oozing, pustulating, stopping in the name of love or shooting a man in Reno just to watch him die.
144b:
And me? I'm just the icing on the urinal cake.
da_upstart:
The Vikings of Penzance??
UnReality:
"Tonight, on Poorly Researched Historical Theater, Ken Kesey and his Merry Pranksters send Rosa Parks to the back of the bus to get stoned."
144b:
It's the Haymarket Square riots all over again. This time, it's the Cubs playing the strikers. (It's the only hits thet can get/)
UnReality:
Oddly enough, each of them is Elvis-themed.
gleeb:
The Church of Cthulu, the Reformed Church of Cthulu, First Four Square Cthuluist Assembly, and Temple Beth Shub-Niggurath.
TheDiva:
"Prepare the standard 'rich and famous' contract for Kermit the Frog and Company."
tinaw:
"A lab mouse bent on world domination? Sign me up!"
gleeb:
Send up more girls; I'm still hungry.
GlitterRock:
"What? Bond would NEVER tap my phone with one of his big red listening devices! Ha!"
JohnSteed:
"Mr. Heston, as much as I'd like to do this 'Touch of Evil' thing, I'd rather have a 'Touch of Pork Ribs' right now, if you know what I mean..."