Hinermad:
There are other permanent options besides vasectomy. Skateboarding, for example. Or you could mess around with my wife, and I'll take care of it for you...
BlakHat1:
"It's making GRAVY in my MOUTH!"
DiscoBoy:
"Don't Look Now: The Mrs. Lot Story."
BlakHat1:
Scripts that never translated for Univision:
Todo en la Familia
"Evita! El hombre de su hija es una CARNECABEZA!"
GlitterRock:
"Say, I didn't order a hotdog on my breakfast platter, Raul!"
Agent_Moldy:
"I WANT my two dollars!" *whack*
gleeb:
"MRRRAOW!" "Calm down, Puff, his'll be over in a minute, then you can get into the nice warm dryer. You like the dryer, remember?"
YibbleGuy:
Ever since the latest devaluation of the peso, you can now buy an entire hooker for a single McDonald's french fry.
GlitterRock:
"Who's-sss a good hooker?? Who's-sss a good hooker? Yes, you is! Yes, you is! Hooker wanna cheese curl??"
gleeb:
Father Pablo, the most popular priest in the diocese, attends to his flock.
YingYang:
Okay, who'll give me ten bucks to fuck it? I don't care what it is. C'mon, any takers?
gleeb:
"The Northern Lights?" "Yes." "At this lattitude?" "Yes." "During the day?" "Yes." "And confined to you kitchen?" "Yes." (I'd bet $10 you'll do it for nothing, Ying)
DiscoBoy:
"Constantly losing your IUD? Well, worry no more! Now, with Ronco's IUD-Lok, with patented VagiStik technology, your IUD will go in and *stay* in!"
gleeb:
Remember, more pure oxygen means brighter fires and funnier captions.
YingYang:
"Help me, President Ford, you're my only hope."
DiscoBoy:
And now, a proud salute to our industrious capping ancestors, who diligently practiced their misunderstood art despite the lack of computers, screengrabbers, or even any pop culture to reference.
NurseNoir:
Technicians at the Bathroom Tissue Compliance Institute keep detailed records of all households that install their TP in the erroneous "underhanded" position.
DiscoBoy:
Untold History Fact #241: It was actually Barney Fife who discovered the Watergate break-in.