ArchHallJr:
"As you can see. The problem is rampant. People are actually having sex! Sex, of all things!"
DiscoBoy:
"All this porn making you sweaty, fellas? Why be repulsive when you can stay dry with our new product, Man-Talc! Works great on those unfortunate cum stains on the couch, too!"
JurassicPork:
"Now you may think that a jerk in a tin foil tie never gets any action but let me tell you, folks- I've been in more vaginas than Tampax."
Daleman:
I had an apartment that looked like this when I was in college.
JurassicPork:
The lending library at the Boston Archdiocese...
ArchHallJr:
My family's photo album? The hell. . . .?
zee:
Bob Guiccione's Secret Stash, Red Bank, NJ
DiscoBoy:
Come visit the world-famous Museum of Porn! Located just off the interstate in lovely Pacoima!
JurassicPork:
"It was the best of times, it was the wurst of times..." Now, "wurst" is shaped like a penis, therefore we suggest this opening line of A TALE OF TWO CITIES be stricken from the record."
zee:
"My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hon..."
JurassicPork:
"...and he peeled off his tight pants and his quivering member bobbed up and down in the moonlight, her honey pot got dewey... (gasp) Uh, let's break for a commercial. I have to go to the potty."
Daleman:
Now remember kids, make sure your parents are out of the room during our *special* reading time. Todays passage is from Dirty Debbie Visits Filthy Sanchez.
Daleman:
Does anyone else have a boner?
DiscoBoy:
"I like quivering thighs."
JurassicPork:
"Behind me, shaded in white, are the states that have unofficially banned Jackie Collins and Robert James Waller..."
beckett:
"At one time or another, I have personally had each and every one of the items in this room inserted into my rectum. Thank You."
DiscoBoy:
"And now, boys and girls, we'll hear the story of Manuel Pacifico, Tuna Fisherman."
beckett:
"...and I'm quoting Zappa here, Titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer..."