wd40:
I just expect the paper, on my step, before the coffee is brewed, think you can handle that... Yankee?
Mr_Grant:
*Hello, Vatican Help Line? My lawn has turned to blood. Is that bad? Yes, I’ll hold.*
Mr_Grant:
Smugglers did big business during Turkey Prohibition, sneaking boatloads of frozen birds into the US. That is, until Elliot Ness and the Unstuffables were formed.
Mr_Grant:
"Celebrating Our 100th year of making a better screwdriver"
nel_b:
"Tom! Can you help us?! We're being chased by tigers!" "Nope! Don't you see I'm spending an intimate time with my deodorant?"
Torgone:
Dino! No!
Raven_Poe:
4 of us, one antique carpet. Let the yellow river flow boys!
Agent_Moldy:
"We're sure!" *crash*
BryTheFryGuy:
Alright midget man, where my candy?
Buffoon:
.oO Sure, Moses gets found in the rushes, he gets to be Prince of Egypt. Me??? I get a frickin' cold! DAMMIT!!!
anti_hero:
"Don't you tell me I'm driving strait into that flaming wreck! You are so vein!! When I married you I thought I..." *KABOOM*
BitShifter:
...requires masculine scratching.
Colan_Bryant:
...so you get vitamins and minerals by smearing this crap on your "area"?
Haight:
Finally - captions with sound
cscott:
Call now and one of our alien psychics will tell you more...
E_B_A:
"If you suffered from some of the alarming side effects, please raise your third arm."
CapMidnight:
"So remember, fellow state-road-construction workers! Don't get run over by the double-yellow-painting machine like me! Think safety! Nap elsewhere!"
screaming_fist:
The Man from F.L.I.N.C.H.