da_upstart:
"Who you calling fat, short, and bald?!!" "Well, you see anyone else here that fits that description, pal?"
da_upstart:
The Kingpin consoles George Jefferson after hostily taking over his dry cleaning business and having to kill him in the back room.
da_upstart:
"Humbar Condoms. Just the thing when you plan on rounding '3rd base'."
psychomorph:
"Say, sailor... is that a sock in my pants, or am I just happy to see you?"
rickubis:
"C'mon, hug me! Or are you afraid to embrace your masculinity?" "I'm afraid to embrace *your* FEMININITY."
MirandaRamsey:
"See? That's where we'll hang his underpants after we strip him and spank him."
gleeb:
Hmmm, how long can a clock-radio hold its breath?
gleeb:
I always feel tired after a day of digging mass graves, but you know, it's a good kinda tired.
Mr_Bad_Movie:
After three months, the cat just decided to get the shovel and empty the litter box by itself.
Moatas:
Third grade teacher, Mrs. Hayes, bathed in unusually hot water the night before and shrank radically
Moatas:
"I bought this at a gay garage sale and now I'm afraid to touch it."
Moatas:
Billy didn't really want to be the Hall Monitor, but he knew it was just another step toward his real goal; Dictator of Michigan
cambria36:
Martha attempts to jab that cockroach before her guests see it.
Matteus:
"Why, yes sir, your daughter does have the junk in the trunk."
Kota-Daddy:
...after sneaking home from work early, and finding his boss in bed with his wife; Benny realized, "Damn, I almost got caught!!!"
Amon:
"My name is Talkie Tina, and I think I'm beginning to hate you..."
experiment_626:
"My lumbago is killing me, my hemorrhoids are about to pop and my false teeth have punkin seeds under them... Old age ain't fer wussies!"
144b:
Iceberg, smiceberg! As long as we don't hit a sea monster, we'll be okay.