Reynard_T_Fox:
Well, that'll learn him not to misuse the milking machine anymore...
Artanas:
Remember kids, if you want to acid wash your jeans, make sure to take them off first...
UnReality:
"It's a glandular problem."
Mr_Grant:
The Easter Bunny was relaxing at home when the phone rang. It was Yom Kippur Yvonne...
Generik:
Poor little Mary Jean waits on her mummy's sarcophagus for her to wake up...
The_Gray_Zombie:
The hell?!?! Feels like I've been sitting on a cactus or something.
devildoll:
"Whoa! I think I found your vibrator!"
shankenstein:
Mafia tip #21: "Curtains don't wear shoes."
PrpOrngSquad:
EEE! Rob, keep your hands to yourself, you animal!
1DarrenY:
"Back in my day, see, it was the Yankee Republicans that freed the slaves and the Southern Democrats that owned 'em. How did it get all turned around?"
Geezo:
"A round of panties, on me!"
Geezo:
Having the car cut in half: $1000. Having it hauled up and welded to the wall: $750. Gettin jiggy in the trunk of a VW without all the fuss: Priceless.
1DarrenY:
"Wait a minute - that's not my belly button." / "It's OK, that's not my finger either."
scicle:
Quitting smoking isn't hard, but the oral fixations last long after
HenryBemis:
"May I watch you exorcise?" "Yes, but let me change into my sweats first."
scicle:
Even religious men can't look in a woman's eyes as they talk to her...
Helen_Servo:
Just a little higher and my nose will be in perfect position for snobbery
screaming_fist:
Blocked arteries in politicians: the common man's champion.