Agent_Moldy:
"That was us at Ruby Ridge. What a time that was and -- yes, that's right, the 'FBI Screw-Up Tour'. Oh, I'm telling you, if you ever get the chance to go on this tour, DO SO! They take you right through Richard Jewell's house, even! Now this one is us at Waco..."
144b:
When you're a pyromaniac & in love, the whole world seems to be in flames. Such is the story of Lyle & Rebecca Larson. Two firebugs with love in their eyes & gasoline on their hands.
Mr_Grant:
Society news item: "Mr. & Mrs. Red Adair of Houston, TX announce the engagement of their daughter, Torchy Renee, to Mr. Cole Fire Retardant-Foam. He is the son of Flint & Ember Fire Retardant-Foam of Elmira, NY."
Generik:
"Let a man sit beside your fire, and he's warm for an evening. But douse him with gasoline and set him on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life." "You always say the most profound things, honey."
rickubis:
We had to do it. Someone had spray painted "Chirpy and the Captioneers" on the side of the building. It HAD to burn. We understand we are to recieve a medal of honor from the President.
JAUSTRALIS:
"And here's me and my cousin... er... my fiancee, Jessie, after we left the state records office... and before we left on our honeymoon!"
Steve_Reeves:
The newest Vacation Package available from Travelocity? All the danger hotspots of the world! First you spend a week in Israel! Enjoy the added risk of dining with a suicide bomber! Then we stop in The Phillipines where we'll spend a three day stay with Muslim terrorists. "Watch out with that machete, Jose!" Finally it's on to Afghanistan where you'll go along on a cave raiding expedition. Afterwards, we'll have plenty of time for photos to send to the folks back home!
ArtMystery:
Lot and his wife pose outside Sodom just before the photographer regrettably asked "Hey, what's that behind you?" and Lot's wife turned around to look. Trying to put a positive spin on the incident, Lot was quoted as saying "At least we won't be spending much money on salt for a while."
IMissMST3K:
"You turned off the iron, right dear?!" "Yes! YES!! Now stop WORRYING!! The house will be JUST fine when we get back!"
Buffoon:
"Having a great time here in Israel. Wish you were here!"
Nyssa23:
"My heart's on fire for you, baby! ...I got heartburn!"
HoneyT:
Woman: "Bob, is that your new aftershave?"
Man: "Nope, just flushed the toilet."
Annakie7:
Chuck and Mary smiled as their work was finished. At last, the evil factory that filled the world's cows with methane was destroyed, and the world was safe again.
Reynard_T_Fox:
Built Ford Pinto Tough.
nastinkers:
The weiner roast at Chernobyl turned out to be more than they bargained for. Many weiners were roasted that night -- and for generations to come...
DiscoBoy:
Roundtrip airline tickets to Tel Aviv: \\$1,235
Matching flak jackets and helmets: $550
Knowing you got caught in the crossfire on the West Bank because you booked your honeymoon through Expedia.com: Priceless
Lanzman:
Emmet and Mary Lou Ravioli of Flint, Michigan mark their first wedding anniversary by destroying the home of that annoying kid who delivers the morning paper. "Got tired of the little bastard always throwing it in the bushes," said Emmet.
questor:
"Bob had dropped his auto insurance just the day before because, really, what's the worst that can happen to a '73 Ford Pinto?"
Matteus:
Another WillingToSettle.com success! Both love walks on the beach... but this'll do. And they like to get cozy by the fire... although they can't get too close without losing their eyebrows but... it'll do.
Jacksinn:
"Disco Inferno? Oh, that place is totally to die for!"
starkbalmy:
"I'm so proud of my little girl for earning her final merit badge in fire-starting. And with the money we get from the insurance, I'm going to buy her a nice new Girl Scout uniform and sash to put those merit badges on."
ABServo:
o\~ If you want to view paradise... simply look around and view it... o~
screaming_fist:
"I keep thinking I forgot to do something at home..."
Shandi:
The origins of the "Joe Don Baker" Cult: Practicing Overheating Dinner and Blowing Up the Compound Day.
Humoriste:
Honeymoon in Lovely Afghanistan!
BYOB - Bring your own burqa!"
abracadaver:
From Lucy and Phil's annual Summer trip to New Jersey. This year, New Jersey asked them not to come back.
UpSky2:
A good cure for heartburn is a major concern of brunettes nowadays.
malaclypse:
Sylvestre Matuschka and wife on honeymoon.
AAAron333:
Mort and Irene began having doubts about the 'special deal' their travel agent got them for a honeymoon on Fire Island.
TyranosaurisRex:
Edward knew that adopting a Muslim extremist would have it's drawbacks. He decided early on to just support her in whatever she did.
ArchHallJr:
Natural Born Killers 2: A Time For S'Mores
Chebby:
"Smells like... Money."
Bob, employee of Red Adair, commenting on the Kuwait blowouts...
Daleman:
That wife of mine! One day she’ll learn how to properly parallel park.