Agent_Moldy:
"But Doctor, why fasten a bullhorn to my stomach? I came to you for breast implants."
"It's the latest technology, Miss Simmons. I yell into the bullhorn, and 'scare' the fat from your stomach up into your breasts!"
"Will that really work?"
"You *question* the master?!?!"
suggs:
'Turn it up to 9 this time!'
Jazzsoda:
Finding appropriate sound effects for the 1952 horror classic "The Blob Goes to College" was a daunting task, but thanks to revolutionary microphone technology, ingenious sound technicians and irritable bowel sufferer Catherine Dupont, Hollywood was up to the challenge.
Buffoon:
"What do you mean you're having trouble getting a reading through my clothes and I'll have to disrobe? I came in here for a perm!"
Steve_Reeves:
In order to isolate the Va-va-voom Gene, researcher Krishna Gopalmukti hooks stripper Gladys Lowenstein (Pleasure Pizarro) up to the navelometer.
Generik:
Inspired by the success of Katie Couric's televised colonoscopy, radio reporter Dana Fleener decides to treat her listeners to an audio tour of her colon and upper intestine. The broadcast is so successful that it leads to the best-selling Book on Tape, "I Am Dana's Upper GI Tract *gurgle* *squeak*".
HoneyT:
Woman: "Now, you're sure this will guarantee a satisfying sexual response?"
Man: "Look, lady, I just work here."
IllegalityGirl:
Scientists blast the uterus with music from K-PORN to stimulate egg production.
Shandi:
"Of *course* it's a complete chicken dinner -- why, how do *YOU* slow-cook YOUR chicken?"
starkbalmy:
"Okay, Kid, we know you're in there. We'll give ya nine months to come out, and when you do, you can be sure we're gonna slap your ass and put you somewhere for a while, until we think you're ready to join society. Aw, quit your kickin'..."
DiscoBoy:
"Congratulations, Rosemary! It's a devil!"
GlitterRock:
"Ay! Good noos, Missus Petrie! Issa gonna be a boy!"
"Ohhhhh ROOOOOB!"
Reynard_T_Fox:
So you can bring new life into this world and still look your best at the beach: The Ronco Baby Compressor (TM)!
bugwber:
Lou Diamond Phillips THOROUGHLY investigates all potential future-wives, to make certain they're not a lesbian... or carrying David Crosby's artificially-inseminated love-child.
Ash_Skywalker:
Thanks to science's new CrampDetector 3000, it is finally proven that indeed, our insides *DO* scream at that time of the month!
Geier:
Though he came highly recommended, Deborah still had serious reservations regarding Dr. M'benga's skills as a dentist.
nastinkers:
Blow air in her bellybutton and her hair foofs up! Cool!
IMissMST3K:
The design of the newest lactating machine had definite earmarkings of being created by a man...
Soozcat:
OK, "Baby Mozart" was cool, but "Baby Wagnerian Ring Cycle?" This woman needs an intervention.
Nyssa23:
"Hold still, ma'am. We'll have that pesky appendix out in no time!"
144b:
Tell me again doctor. How will this device incress my bust size? Doctor? Are you listening to me?
questor:
"NYC apartment for rent. Features womb with view."
Lanzman:
"Well keep checking! That fetus was in there yesterday!"
robofreak:
"Yes'm", he said..."You'll most likely feel a slight twinge around your entire general body area."
There had to be an easier way to make a cool twenty bucks, but damned her orgasms would never be the same after this day. You take the good, you take the bad...
BlakHat1:
All this just to turn an "outie" into an "innie"?
Daleman:
OK, Mrs Kennedy, your ovary roataion went fine. Your good for another 50,000 miles or three months with the president, which ever comes first.
LuvBJones:
I repeat: There is nowhere for bin Laden to hide!!!!
MrBungle:
"Well, well, well, Ms. Stephenson! It looks like I've located Osama Bin Laden! I need you to do the American thing and lay back while I try to root him out with my Tomahawk Missile of Love. Be prepared, though. I may not get him the first time."
malaclypse:
Early test subjects of Count Rugen's "The Machine, mark II".
abracadaver:
"...and remember, ONLY Mozart, Handel and Brahms! Don't try slipping in any of that Rock and/or Roll, you beatnik! This baby's gonna be a g*ddamned genius!"