rickubis:
I used to be the Pepperidge Farms spokesman, until they found out about those 15 migrant workers I buried.
rickubis:
The thing was... I only buried their heads. That was all that was left after the pot pies I made.
rickubis:
I said I'd go to bed with you if you promised to wear a raincoat, but I meant a different kind.
rickubis:
Hello, police? I'd like to report that I'm being stalked by a stepladder.
rickubis:
Go ahead. Knock this offa my shoulders. I dare ya.
rickubis:
Yes. I'd like to return this kid. You sent him without any brains installed.
rickubis:
HEY! I remember this from about 9 months before I was born! I was swimming my little tail off.
rickubis:
Everyone blamed his old man... for makin' him mean as a snake. When Amos Moses was a boy his daddy would use him for alligator bait.
rickubis:
I'm telling ya, champ. I see a time where boxers will be using their teeth in the ring.
rickubis:
C'mon, coach. I'm really tired. Cant I just sit here and punch on this midget for a while?
rickubis:
Dolly Parton under a sun lamp.
rickubis:
Goddamn Jalapeno peppers! Come ON ice cream!
rickubis:
Hello? I've farted, but I'm still not sitting in my own pew.
rickubis:
Chief. I'm calling to report a 1310--A guy farting cheekrippers past 9:00 pm on a Thursday.
rickubis:
What the hell do you mean tonight's Christmas Eve? What the $%(#@ did those elves put in the eggnogg?
rickubis:
Oh. Very funny. Have I seen any "cliffs."
rickubis:
I would have starved to death in the desert if I hadn't eaten that kid who came up and asked me to draw him a sheep.
rickubis:
"Does your short compadre there ALWAYS frisk strangers in the butt with that nightstick?" "What nightstick?"