AgentQ:
And for the third year in a row, Margaret Densworth is the World Champion in our Live Eel Devouring Contest! She scarfed down a record 67 living, angry electric eels in under 3 minutes. We asked her how she does it, and she replied, 'Well, I like how eels taste, and I make sure that I'm really hungry before each contest.' How do you deal with the electric shocks? 'Well, I just sorta put it outta my mind. It's a zen thing. I don't let the electricity knock me out, I knock out the electricity. Plus, it adds a little zest to the otherwise rather banal taste of eelflesh.' Dom DeLuise was reportedly furious that he lost to Margaret for three years running, upsetting a restaurant salad bar and devouring patrons in an effort to prove his superiority in the Eating Living Things Whole department.
Scypha:
Well, Sally, I see that you have a 103 degree temperature. Looks like you're sick, girl. But then I can't really tell since I got this stupid toy thermometer.
Weird_1:
I wonder if it tastes like chicken???
JoeCrow:
I guess Lorrainna Bobbit will never know how many licks it really takes to get to the center
BuckFifty:
Seeing as he was quite "large" for an elf, Danny was very popular with the ladies.
BuckFifty:
"A one...a two...*CRUNCH*...three..."
Nodrog_CRC:
This is not what Jane meant when she asked her boyfriend for 20 karets.
Geier:
When Bob asked Janet if she "wanted to choke on [his] carrot", she had something else in mind...
Geier:
Her mother had always been glad that Penny liked eating her vegetables, but it was only by accident that she learned just how far Penny's hunger ...uhm..."extended".
Scouty:
"Ia thogh tha poual dinnth haava any ich aon tith" Learn from Linda VanLandingham, *please* don't lick frozen flag poles.
Agent_Moldy:
"MO-O-O-O-OM! Monica's playing intern with the crab legs againnnnn!"
JD1036:
Experiments with the Salad Shooter Artillery Cannon go arwy when the developers shoot a carrot for accuracy.
Adanae:
"Cover for the Nintendo workout video 'Yoshi-cizing'."
Jazzsoda:
Monica thought giving herself a hickey with the Hoover upright's attachment hose would be an easy way of making herself more popular with the boys. Little did she know the damn thing had 40 amps and would pull her intestines straight out of her mouth before she could yank the plug out of the wall.