Balderdash:
"Yeah, well, whatever you decide, stay away from the fish! I don't think it's fresh!"
JediClone:
Unable to track down ET themselves, the faceless government men bring in noted bounty hunter IG-88...
Angel_Noir:
Most zombies have the strength to claw there way out of their graves. But after that, they are dead tired. <double rimshot!>
Balderdash:
"Well, if my timing is correct, Satan should be here in 3... 2... 1..." *POOF*
clover:
Okay Jeffery, here's the deal. I don't put my nylons on the shower rod. And you don't put frozen human heads in the freezer. Kapeesh?
Sailgirl:
It occurred to Billy's mom that she should get him some help when he started worshipping the salt and pepper shakers.
Balderdash:
.oO(Wow! This is my best disguise ever! No one will ever recognize me!) "Hey Jim. What are you doing?" "Crap!"
Balderdash:
"Hey, have I told you about the steak? It's to die for!"
HanoverF:
Someone fed their Furby after midnight!
Balderdash:
Apparently the ancient Egyptian had their own version of Pez dispensers...
JediClone:
When he got really high, Chris Farley tended to get really dizzy. Getting him to run down a spiral staircase was the only way to re-balance him.
Artanas:
Tonight on Easily Distracted PI... "Well, nearest I can figure, your kid is held hostage in the... Hey! Is that a bunsen burner?"
JediClone:
"Worlds Greatest Hoaxes Revealed" aside, Fox still stands by THIS alien autopsy as the Real Thing!
Balderdash:
"I don't believe you!" "It's true! And all with only 3 beach balls and a box of Rice Krispies!" "WOW!"
Artanas:
"Yeah, it really hasn't been the same since my torso was ripped open. Can't help but feel hollow. But on the bright side I can eat more than Marlon Brando."